This is the photo of the suspect after he placed the backpack bomb beside Martin and his family. After all is said and done and prayed for and captured, there is still a lot of inner processing left in the aftermath to do. This photo smacked me hard – harder than all the rest because it brings forth the reality that I’m actually looking at Martin’s last moments of his short little life. I’m still wandering the beach trying to reconcile this with God. And not only me.
One of my favorite Cape Cod Times Sunday journalists, Dan McCullough, wrote this morning:
“Why Does God Let Evil Happen?”
Yay. Wow. I was excited. Dan is not only a Cape Cod Times journalist, but also a philosophy professor at the 4 C’s. I read his column weekly. He is a writer with ideas that I trust. I eagerly immersed myself in the article. He began with (Imagine being that brave as a writer to begin this way):
“If you don’t believe in God, don’t bother reading any further into this piece today. Two of my very favorite and very talented columnists are just below me on this page. You can go right down to them and continue reading. Thanks for checking in; I’ll see you next week.
Ok then, for you believers: forget the atheists; this is really none of their business; it’s got nothing to do with them. We need to talk about evil existing in the same world with God.”
Yay! Yes. I am finally gonna get my answer. McCullough begins, as I do today, writing his column with Martin’s picture right in front of him. Now here’s a guy whose on my page in trying to make sense of God, good, and evil. He explains two “theodicies” (attempts to explain the actions of God) and just as I think we’re getting there, he ends with:
“So, I don’t know about you, but these theodicies don’t make it any easier for me to look at that family picture this morning. I mean, they do make sense in their own ways, but I still feel empty,”
Sadly, I agreed. This is the point where, disheartened that even my favorite philosopher couldn’t put this thing to bed for me, I grabbed my headphones and set off for the beach.
Starting out on my walk today I wanted to listen to my Skywatch CD after going to hear them at church last night. Ambling down Ploughed Neck road, with a sharp wind straight off the water shooting down my neck, it was there I found reconciliation. The song “Remind Me” came on. The words were the exact words that my heart was speaking:
“I fall as a puppet would from broken strings. I offered up my life.. I promised everything.
I can’t comprehend why you took him, after all the years that I’ve served you, I promised and believed, still you brought me to my knees…
Remind me…why did you choose to take this soul away …what purpose does it serve? Can you hear me pray?
How do I look in the eyes of children asking me why did you have to take him, I don’t understand, how this fits into your plan….”
Right? They get it, this Skywatch band. And what’s better? The rest of the song gives the answer. The right answer. I won’t go into what it is here, because out of respect for the band, you really should spend the $1.29 for the song and see if it helps you settle this issue in your heart like it did for me.
And so, as another day goes by, thank you Dan for trying, thank you Skywatch for doing what you do, and…I have written.
On iTunes:
So I love how God is so obvious sometimes it just makes you stop wherever you are, look at the ceiling, and say, “Really, are you that close to me?”
This post from you was posted on a friend’s facebook page. I clicked to read it because my sister – who ran the marathon and was stopped less than a mile from the finish, due to the bombs – just today posted her own thoughts after a week of struggling to make peace with her faith and her experience.
But strangest of all, your mention of Ploughed Neck Road stopped me. How many can there be? My husband and I and two boys spent last week in East Sandwich, on North Shore Blvd in East Sandwich, which we accessed via Ploughed Neck Road. I read your “About” page, and, sure enough – we were neighbors last week when this very thing happened.
I don’t know what it might mean, all these connections, but I will share with you some of what my sister wrote, in hopes you will find it of comfort:
“So here we are a week later. I have reflected for a week. From the very second this happened, the words that came to my head were “Hold on to what is good”. HOTWIG. My sister Julie came up with Hotwig. I remembered this over and over after the race. It’s what I would say to people when they asked me how I was. I would always say that there is so much more good than bad in this world, hold on to that.
But yet when I came back to summarize my thoughts in a blog, I kept thinking that I somehow needed to tie in Hebrews 12:1. After all this was my verse. But the words just didn’t come. Yesterday God gave me my summary in a devotion – right when I needed to hear it. Romans 12: 9 & 21
… Hate what is evil; cling to what is good….
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
You see, God showed me that it’s ok to be mad first – to hate what happened. i needed that. I really hated it. It wasn’t right, it wasn’t fair. It was evil. And how could I summarize that using Hebrews 12:1? Not possible. H 12:1 will tell me that I need to run the race with patience and perseverance. It will tell me that God will never put me in a race that I can’t finish. But what it doesn’t tell me is “what now”? HOW do I run this race God? That’s where he answered me with Roman’s 9. Run your race clinging to what is good and doing whatever good you can to help overcome the evil in this world.
So we go on running our races my friends…. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this journey with me.”
God’s blessings to you, my sister in Christ (and incidental neighbor) in East Sandwich. – Renata
Wow, Renata. That’s amazing. I Di believe there are no accidents. It’s all part of His plan. Thank you for sharing your sister’s words. Maybe someday we’ll meet on this beach! Thank you for reading and commenting. Nice to meet you. 🙂