Today was my second day back to Bikram after my month-long hiatus. It was a rough comeback. My first class last week was flawless. Today not so much. It’s not surprising because the yoga always has IT’S way with you, never the other way around. I knew when I re-entered the hot room, there would be a little hell to pay. Well, seems there’s a lot of hell to pay.
When I felt the extreme heat while setting up my mat, I knew I had a decision to make. I was either going to set myself up for immediate failure by telling myself how hard this was going to be, or I was going to reframe my thinking into a new strategy.
My new strategy was to sit back and take a look at all I discovered about my practice in that hot room over the past three years. I knew a lot about how my body approaches certain places where trouble would inevitably strike and I had to set some boundaries for those situations. In my early years I’d push through, not take breaks, ride it out, etc. But I’d also go home completely depleted and useless the rest of the day if it was a morning class. Today I just decided I won’t do that anymore. I will stop. I will sit. I will keep myself from “pixeling out” (I see green pixels before I slither to the floor.) If I allow myself to get to that point the standing series is destroyed because I can no longer balance on one leg, and if I push it too far, the floor series will just be a bunch of groveling around on my knees. The point of the yoga will be lost and I should just lie still for the rest of the class.
Today, based on all I know about myself in that room, I decided I won’t do that. When I was wavering before pranayama breathing was over, I paid attention. I didn’t try to be a warrior. I kept myself calm until eagle. I did one set and had to stop and stand midway through the second set. Right there and then I decided I needed to maintain control for the remainder of the standing series. I did one set and sat one set for the remainder of the series. No pixeling. No falling. Just some calm sitting so I was able to stand up and resume the class without feeling dizzy.
This proved to be a good strategy because it saved my floor series. I was able to fully participate in the postures that were so critical to strengthening my back for fit club.
People have two mindsets in that room. Some people love to be pushed beyond being uncomfortable. They love extreme heat and long postures and revel in driving themselves through all kinds of pain. Other people approach the class with an air of gently doing each posture to the point where it is good and beneficial to the body. There is no drive to push themselves beyond physical limits and leave class totally drained and lifeless. I am of this second camp.
I have no desire to be the warrior. I work on my muscles very hard in fit club and need to come to yoga to gently stretch them in the heat. Some days my muscles love it and cooperate. Other days, like today, they aren’t having any of it. My wonderful instructor, Mark, told me before class to listen to my body. He was right. My body has a different message each time I attend class.
No one knows us better than we know ourselves, except God (and I’m not about to start telling Him what to do.) We need to take time to be still and listen to what we communicate to ourselves, both physically and mentally. And sometimes you have to make a rule and say, “I won’t do that.”
And so, as another day goes by, what learned in class today better prepares me for class on Thursday, and…I have written. Namaste.
4:30 was much the same. Toooooooooo much humidity for me and my brain.
So glad I went though.