Stop laughing. I don’t. Hostas are horrible plants that take over your garden. Their creepy little green eyes start peeping through the mulch at the first sign of spring. They spend the season scarfing up all the sunlight and water at the expense of the smaller plants. Then they spread their strong green leaves out over the whole garden, bigger than last year.
At the height of summer they dazzle us with purple flowers that they think are so special. Then, just as quickly as they came, the flowers die leaving behind a lot – and I mean a lot – of clipping work to do until fall. In the fall they shrivel and die and turn to mush mixed with the wet leaves. They leave an awful mess to be cleaned up by others after they leave this earth.
You might ask, “If you hate them that much, why don’t you get rid of them?” You can’t. Their ancestors just keep reproducing and leaving a messy life behind, not providing much joy while they were alive. I asked my husband to get rid of them. He tries. He digs them up and gives them away for free. (We actually have neighbors that WANT them!) He told me if I wanted all of them gone, we’d have to rent a backhoe.
And so, as another day goes by, hostas are only good for one thing – reminding me I don’t want to be a hosta, and…I have written.
Oh, I empathize! I tried to get rid of thousands that the previous owners planted to avoid weeding. They’re indestructible. I think someone should look into the possibility of the hosta being a food source since they’re so plentiful, maybe they’re rich in vitamins….