I need to put that on my mirror for those days when I feel just plain lousy (I hate that word, but I hate the feeling too, so it works). Sunday I just didn't have my usual energy bounce. When trying to figure out why, I could only attribute it to the tremendous energy I spent over the last few days once again trying to control something I couldn't and I was left with no ambition to go workout. But I went anyway. I felt more relaxed when I got home, but I still just wanted to sit and read the day away.
I'm learning about myself. This morning, a blog I follow reminded me of the things I learned in my three years of Bikram yoga practice. In the hot room I learned to let go, to just calm down and see where things take you and to not be afraid to do do this – I learned to look at “not knowing” as an adventure instead of a fear of the future. Most importantly though, for a type A like me, who places order above all else, I learned that life isn't linear nor does it have to be. That's a big one for me. In my head the weeks that stretch out in front of me are laid out, Sunday thorugh Saturday, with everything in line and ordered just like I like it. When my schedule suddenly changes, I freak. My order is messed up. I become agitated and immediately invest a ton of energy in trying to fix it and get everything back in line again, actually leaving myself too spent to do the things I usually love to do in my down time.
When this happens, as it so often does in my current job, I need to go back to what the hot room has taught me. I need to stand still and breath through the uncomfortableness and see where the situation goes. Simply remembering this concept calms me right away, and I experience instant peace. It is in this blip of a peaceful moment I also become aware that God is standing just behind my right shoulder (I don't know why my right shoulder, it's just been His place all my life) whispering, “I got this.”
Read Leigh's blog post. She makes so much sense. Then, maybe relax your grip on that which you are trying to change, just for today, and grab yourself a peaceful moment.
And so, as another day goes by, miraculously, my situation fixed itself as easily as a satin bow becoming untied, and…I have written.
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