Today was women’s bible study day and we were finishing our last session on control. Andy Stanley, in the video, made a statement about controlling people that was profound. He said:
“You can’t control someone and love them at the same time.”
It struck me that must be why God gave us free will. God loves us and wants us to live a life finding happiness in helping others, but He’s not going to force us to do anything against our will. God is a teaching God, not a controlling God. He uses both the positive and negative times in our lives to lead and teach us, not to control us.
We are told in the Bible to be like Jesus. Remember the bracelets WWJD? In turn, we must treat others the way God treats us. In certain situations, such as with our children, we control the environment that they’re in until they’re eighteen. We give them a safe place to mess up and try out life. When they are eighteen we send them off to their chosen direction, cross our fingers, make the sign of the cross, kiss them on the forehead and having given them everything you had, you just hope they take it with them. In any kind of relationship you can’t make another person do what you want them to do, just so you feel better. The best you can do is lead and teach by the way you live your life, just as God does with us through the example of Jesus.
Sometimes you are worried about someone you love. You know what’s wrong. You know what they need. You see things they cannot see. You see the direction they’re headed in. You know what they should do, etc. You do what you can, but in the end, their direction is their choice. Sometimes the best thing you can do for another person in trouble is to just step back and get out of God’s way. Once again:
“When you’ve done all you can do, just stand.”
You can’t control someone and love them at the same time. God doesn’t do it with us. We should follow His example with those we care about. Many times we are being taught right along with them. We are learning our own lessons about letting go, trusting, surrendering, and being still. You can only stay on the hamster wheel so long before you have to get off, and…
just stop.
And so, as another day goes by, this morning one of the women reminded me of my old stand by: “Be still, and know that I am God”, and….I have written.
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