I learned something very important today. I learned the difference between not giving up and not giving up. No, they are not the same. One comes from fear and one comes from love.
If you’re not giving up out of fear it:
Always feels bad
Motivates grasping
Seizes control
Insists on certainty
Needs everything
You’re persisting with a lot of anguish. You feel stuck. Your thoughts and actions are desperate in nature.
If you’re not giving up out of love it:
Always feels good
Motivates liberation
Relaxes control
Accepts uncertainty
Needs nothing
Not giving up out of love is keeping an open heart and mind. It’s giving God and the universe their chance to do their thing. I’m learning it’s possible to not give up on something or someone and still live in a place of peace. I’m learning it’s possible to learn new truths about myself each day and still maintain serenity.
Not giving up out of love is letting go. Not giving up out of fear is grasping loss with white knuckles and crippling yourself. The two lists are clear, handy reminders of which is which. They are by Martha Beck, author of “Steering By Starlight, a read I think I’ll investigate. These lists were in another writing of hers on Oprah.com and didn’t have anything to do with not giving up, but spoke out to me in my conundrum of “How is letting go different from walking away and giving up?” Let go, but don’t give up is a mixed message, but these two lists clearly showed me how to do both at the same time.
And so, as another day goes by, what a relief to relax the hold, let go, but still not be giving up or quitting, and….I have written.
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