Did you ever have to put your faith and trust in the hands of another? For a control freak this is a travesty. People like me who always want their ducks in a row and go to great lengths to put them there, can’t do this. Or, can we? How about it all you type A control freaks that want to make everything perfect for everyone out there? Can you give it over? Can you give up the reigns and let someone else drive for THEIR own good and not yours?
Lately I’m called to the carpet to do this and dammit I will. If you love someone enough you will be able to put your own comforts and agendas aside and let them take the reigns and do what they need to do to grow a better person in themselves. There are a few on my heart that I would love to just swoop in and save right now. One is my sister-in-law, who at this very moment in is in the fourth hour of brain surgery to fight her cancer.
I’m many miles away and all I have is God. Did you hear what I just said? I can’t believe I said that. All I have is God. If I have God I have everything, no matter how far away from my loved ones I am. All day today God has been traversing the miles on my behalf. All day He has put angels in my path that sat and prayed with me. Once again the tremendous power to accept what I cannot change comes in the throws of prayer.
Tonight I write in honor of my sister-in-law Sharon who is so brave and courageous and still fighting the big fight, and her husband, my brother John, who has been by her side 24/7 doing whatever needed to be done all these months. When the big C hits you drop everything. The things in your days that were so important and worrisome before, become minuscule now. You take it by the horns and dive in and give it your all, but in the end, you have to hand it over. It is ultimately her fight and you can’t swoop in and make it all better. Why God calls certain people to fight the big C is not within my sphere of understanding, but it is for a reason.
Disease, illness, trauma, and broken people and relationships are the curriculum in the school of life and monumental lessons are learned and lives are changed by those who stand up, fight, and do the hard things demanded of them to save their own life. My sister-in -law is one of these people.
I just got word she is out of surgery, they got both tumors and everything is fine. Amazing. And to think I said all I had was God.
And so, as another day goes by, thank you Lord for many prayers answered today, I’m learning to hand it over, and…I have written.
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