Last night's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad yoga class put the fear of Halloween in my head for tonight's class. I started at two o'clock with maybe I'm eating too much for lunch. I know I didn't drink enough water. I shouldn't attempt this. I had coffee at 4 pm. That definitely means this is not a good idea. I worked out at fit club at noon. This will be too much. At 4:30 I dumped some Herbalife H3O in a bottle of water and told myself I'll be fine.
When I got there, the LOBBY was as hot as the hot room. In the bathroom thoughts of "I shouldn't be here" rang in my brain. I went in and slowly acclimated myself to the room. It was hotter than usual, but the warm-ups and most of the standing series went well. The teacher opened a window almost at the end of the standing series. If only he did that a few poses earlier, I think I would've been fine. The dizzies took over and there was no tree or toe stand for me.
"Thats okay", I told myself as I once again lay calmly on my back, staring at my cross made of four paint dots on the ceiling. While I know the importance of taking care of yourself in hot yoga and never pushing past what is physically possible, still, this wasn't like me and I had to come up with an answer. I thought about what had changed in my life over the past week. Then it dawned on me. I added weight training and cardio at fit club three days a week. This has to be it. Finding the possible answer calmed the monkeys in my mind.
In Bikram yoga, everything you do is taken into account and adaptions are automatically made. Changing eating patterns, stress, medications, and, of course, adding exercise sessions will cause the yoga to break you out of your usual practice and once again change and rearrange everything. I am in a place of breaking down once more. It's important for me not to give up, but to relax and ride the wave and trust the process to put me back together again, even stronger than before. Sound at all familiar?
Life is constantly changing us and God uses situations in our life to sometimes obliterate our world as we know it. Then He helps us pick up the pieces, and put them back together in such a way that we are new, and strong, and see the horizon from a different perspective.
And so, as another Halloween goes by, my pumpkin greets me with a happy grin when I arrive home, I am no longer scared, and …I have written.
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