Yesterday was one of those days where bad news of death, misfortune, and broken relationships hit me from all sides, along with those “I’m not talking to you!” “Fine!” conversations. A day that would be normally deemed high drama. And now, just flashing at the top of my screen, Donna Summer just died. (RIP Donna) Drama at every turn this week.
Today in the pre-class yoga mat chat, my friend came in and announced she can’t put 50 Shades of Gray down since I got her reading it. I said how I hated when people don’t read the book and give their opinion on it based on what they heard in the media. I was reiterating how WBZ Boston news touted it as “Is this what women REALLY want?”, totally missing the point of the author’s story. Then my friend said, “What? It’s a book about healing!”
Wow. That was it. That was what I’ve been trying to say all along. Her simple comment suddenly brought clarity to a multitude of muddled thoughts. It’s not an erotic sex manual. It’s not a commentary about women’s secret sexual needs and wants. It’s the story of a horribly abused child trapped in a grown man’s body, that meets probably the only woman in the world that understands that and sticks by him to encourage that inner child to grow up, allowing the boy to meet the man, merge, and heal into a wholesome person. Does that sound like a sex manual? Honestly.
But it does sound like a lot of drama. Just like all the things happening in our own lives. Thanks to my friend’s insightful statement about the book, I now realize all the drama in my life is really healing. The “dramas” that last a long, long time are really just healing processes in disguise. In yoga today the teacher was talking about calming down and taking the hot room slow and gentle. She said, “If you’re one of those that just always wants to hurry up, finish the race, get your medal and go home so you can feel good now, you need to slow down and surrender to the process. 90 minutes is 90 minutes and your not going anywhere.”
I suddenly realized, “Holy crap! That’s me!” I’m always in a hurry to get it done and feel the good feelings the endorphins of accomplishment bring upon me. Unfortunately, healing doesn’t work that way. Healing is more like “90 minutes is 90 minutes and your not going anywhere”. At first I couldn’t believe it was taking months. Then when it stretched to a year, I was dumbfounded. THEN it stretched to the SECOND year. I just looked at God and said, “You gotta be kidding me right? You’re asking me to do this for ANOTHER year?” I feel like Katniss Everdeen in Hunger Games. BACK into the arena? AGAIN? (So now when the days get tough, I just look up at God and say, “I am Katniss Everdeen.”
Funny, though. At first I said, “I am Katniss Everdeen” with a resigned “oh crap, if you say so, Lord”. These days I’m saying it with power and strength – the same kind of courage, power, and strength Katniss did it with.
Life “in the arena” is surreal and somewhat removed from the rest of the world, and filled with high drama. But that is the story of healing. When you are called to spend your time in the arena, hang on. You’re in for an incredible ride. There will be fear, tears, and tremendous pain and just as Katniss in the arena, and me in the hot room, you have to surrender to the ride. Let God drive. Go where He leads. Make NO decision without prayer first because your mind is in no shape to be trusted. In the end, when the drama is over, the healing process complete, you will come out of the arena a totally different, transformed person.
Books, people we see everyday, close friends both near and far, music, yoga, TV shows, movies, etc. are all the tools God provides while we’re in the arena. He even surprises us with little packages floating down on tiny silver parachutes holding just what we need, when we need it. It may be the hug or kind word of a friend. It may be an unexpected song in a tv show. Don’t worry. Just as Katniss had a sponsor to look out for her, we have the ultimate sponsor to look out for us when it’s our time to enter the arena.
And so, as another day goes by, if you haven’t read Hunger Games, or 50 Shades yet, I suggest you get to it – these books are SO much more than they appear to be – healing disguised as drama – incredible strength and courage exemplified in both characters, kudos to the authors – this is what art is meant to be, and ….I have written.
I’ve been reading your blog for quite some time now and I connect with so much of whT you write. But what I really wanted to glee you is that your writing is (at least for me) 1000% better than when I first read you. I could not exactly say why, but you are such a great read now, I look forward to heading what you have to say because of the way you say it. Keep it up girlfriend. 🙂
Awww….Shirley! I cant tell you what that means to me. AND I now get to enjoy your writing too! I didnt know you could write like that! You keep it up too!!! Thinking of you everyday!! Love you and miss you much!!! Xoxo
You cant give up on the things you love, not ever…
Charlotte ~ Private Practice
Sent from my iPhone…
Linda Bartosik 🙂