“J” is for Journey

Here we are again doing Fun Friday on Saturday. The letter of the week for the A to Z blog hop is “J”. “J”, for me, can only stand for journey. The journey from the working world to retirement was a lot longer than I ever thought it would be. I thought the first year of just doing over my house and not making any real plans would easily settle me into my new segment of life. Little did I know that for the next three years I would be huddled in a dark cocoon of Bikram yoga and bible study, looking inward, walking a road of intense self-examination. I actually thought that was going to be my new life.

Today, poised on the brink of my fifth year, I find myself bursting out of the cocoon, transformed into a whole new person. Bikram and bible study have fallen by the wayside as I rejoined the working world. Rejoining the working world connected me back to the world in general. I remember when I used to do Bikram at 9:30 am five days a week. Back then I needed it. It was the only way to cope with fear, loss and depression. I added bible study one day a week to find answers and ease for my tremendous pain. These two activities were my railing on a climb up a very steep and long stairway. I now see that that was not a life. It was three years of healing myself.

Today the pain is gone, my energy is back, I’m done dwelling on myself and so ready to be back out there teaching and helping others. My new job as a fit coach made me see that. It’s not that I don’t have time for Bikram or bible study, it’s just that I no longer need them in such high doses. I’m not broken anymore. Me and God are good. I feel alive and exhilarated going to work – a feeling I didn’t know I missed these past four years.

Sometimes your life changes without you even noticing until long after it happens. Change is the way of life. I have learned that not one single thing on this earth remains the same, without transforming in some way. Heat, cold and humidity do a number on the things we place in boxes and try to preserve in our attics and basements. Eventually all things change into something no longer useful in one way or another and have to go. Relationships change through births, deaths, divorce, time and distance. When you finally stop striving to protect and preserve, life becomes peaceful and is lived with grace.

And so, as another day goes by, I have come to appreciate change, look at it as another new adventure instead of mourning what once was, and…I have written.

This is a blog hop. Check out some of the “J” posts below.

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