Tonight as I sit and peruse the photos of my brother’s wife, I cannot see the justice of this tragedy. At 15 she was the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen and only now, some 40 years later, can I see why my brother fell in love with her.
Back when that happened, I was 20 and fighting my way through a Christian college, where I was not yet a Christian, and trying to deal with my own relationship that also, like my brother, turned into the love of my life.
I cannot believe how self-absorbed I was in my own life to completely have missed what my brother saw in my sister-in-law. Tonight, sitting in the first row at the funeral home, I couldn’t stop staring at the photo my brother had framed and put next to the urn. It was Sharon, at 15, sitting on a tree stump in the woods at a local park. She was gorgeous. This photo could’ve been a magazine cover. Where was I when she was this beautiful? I was caught up in my own life. I was away at college fighting my own demons. My husband was there, at home, shuffling my brother and Sharon about town because they weren’t old enough to drive. I missed this part of the beautiful person my brother married.
This whole experience tonight taught me to pay attention to the present and to come out of my world and see what’s important to my loved ones. Back then, my world revolved around me. I have a life and my sister-in-law doesn’t anymore. I have two children who are just beginning their adult life paths. So does she. She won’t be there to see them through it. It’s not fair, but through her passing she teaches those of us left here with families to enjoy every moment we have with them.
Don’t take your life or your children for granted. Focus. See them and their future spouses and families for what they are. Participate and enjoy them. If ever I found out how true the statement “life is short” is, it was tonight, looking at those photos of life eons ago. I just brushed my teeth thinking, Sharon dead? It can’t be. I thought the four of us couples, my sister and two brothers and their spouses, would grow old together. How is it that Sharon is gone?
And so, as another day goes by, this life we are given is so precious, it’s just not just that she be taken so soon, and…I have written.
Hoping that the week continues to unfold thoughts that will keep her with you always. Big hug.
C.