This morning I was greeted on Facebook with the unexpected and shocking loss of a friend out here on the Cape. I’ve known her for over twelve years. She was a vibrant woman in her fifties and she should not be gone from this earth. She had one grand child whom she watched a few days a week and loved dearly. This, coming so close to the loss of my dear sister-in-law, another woman in her fifties with a grandchild she loved dearly, taken way, way to soon.
I don’t know what to do with this. When faced with people who mean a lot to us passing, we naturally look inward at ourselves. We get stopped in our tracks. We start looking at our own lives. I am a woman in my fifties with a daughter about to get married. How do I relate to the passing of these women I closely related to? I went about my teaching and exercising day, but the shock of losing them hung there in the back of my brain all day. My morning with the children was wonderful – teaching children always transported me out of my own life for awhile. When they left and I headed off to fit club my mind settled right back on the message I got this morning and I began reeling again.
My first thought when I got to the store this morning to open up the classroom was to give gratitude for such a wonderful place and opportunity to continue teaching. On my drive to fit club I gave gratitude for the health and strength to be able to be going to work out. This afternoon as I sit writing this, I vow to enjoy every minute of this year planning a wedding with my daughter and her sister. Tomorrow when I drive back to the cape I’m going to be thankful that I have new car to make the drive in and if I sit in bridge traffic I will absolutely thank God that I have the opportunity to do that. Tomorrow night I’m going to wait for my husband, pray he has a safe trip, and when he gets there just revel in being able to sit across from him with a glass of wine and chat about our week. Next week I’m going to immerse myself in the writers conference and soak up everything there is to learn.
I’m done with wishing the rain would stop or the humidity would go away. I’m done with letting the daily frustrations of life zap time and energy that I should be putting into to experiencing difficult or uncomfortable moments. Life’s too short. Life’s too short. Everyone says it over and over. It’s written all over Facebook. I read it and I hear it, but today I felt it – and it scared me. It shook me to my core. Yesterday I wrote about how I was glad we all have different paths and learn and progress at our own rate. I can’t reconcile how the life paths of these two women are over, but I can stop and appreciate that mine isn’t, and vow to do everything I need to to stay healthy and able to participate fully in the path that I have yet to walk.
This was my Amazing Find yesterday on Facebook. The short video is an inspiring one. One that helps me see we can all help ourselves if we care enough to love and value the time we have left on this earth.
And so, as another day goes by, I’m going to slip on my gratitude bracelet that I got from another dear friend and then go meet her for dinner, sip some wine, enjoy the conversation, and give thanks for another day, and…I have written.
PS – You can paint this at the Cape Cod Art Bar! Experience LIFE!
Sending my condolences and a hug…