Thanksgiving 2012 finds me much quieter inside than I have ever been in my life. I have finally finnessed the art of letting go – of both big and little things. A huge one these past few years is that I no longer participate in my adult children's lives. I'm here when they need me, but I basically listen and respect their right to make their own life decisions. They have earned this right over the years, and their dad and I have had much to do with that, but our time is over now. It's their show and we sit back and take in the movie. (We have had many Academy Award wininning performances.)
A part of this right of passage into managing their lives comes their decision of where to spend their holidays. Though our girls are still opting to make the trek to NY and celebrate with us, I know a day will come where they will feel they might like to celebrate elsewhere. I have already crossed this bridge so they don't ever have to "break it to me" that they will be in Seattle, or Bora Bora or some such place for the sacred holidays. This process was easy for me, because as I aforementioned, I have finnessed the art of letting go, but for some of you this day of reckoning is still on the horizon.
Today Jennifer Boykin wrote a wonderful piece on this topic in one of my favorite blogs, Life After Tampons. She nailed it. It is EXACTLY how I feel about adult children designing their own lives at holiday time. My favorite part is at the end of the piece where she describes how she and her husband will wake up on Thursday morning and view this new era they are entering. I could do that with my Italian, too! (Minus the coffe for him) Enjoy her piece, entitiled……..
Traditions, Flexibility, and Guilt
A dear friend shared with me the other day that, once she finally understood that all holidays could be a “movable feast,” she really began to enjoy this time of year.
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