Yesterday I thoroughly enjoyed all the Facebook Father’s Day posts – especially the throwback pics. I was not able to be in NY with my dad this year due to my daughter’s wedding being just three weeks away and with my husband only being here on weekends, there was just too much to do to travel. That was okay, though, because my dad and my whole family will be out here for the wedding and the whole family will be together.
Still, I thought about him yesterday, and what he meant to my life. I decided to honor him by bringing back a throwback post I wrote about him three years ago. It’s my best explanation of “What My Dad Means T Me”.
The original post was entitled Voids. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed revisiting it.
In referencing yesterday’s blog where I told about my discovery of a huge void in my grade school experience, in yoga, after writing the blog, I had a revelation. It seems, when the job coach had asked me to think of my earliest proud moments, I only looked within my school life. It still bothered me that there were so many years that I couldn’t recall a single accomplishment that I wanted to share with pride. As I recall, I had a happy childhood, so it just can’t be that I never did anything I could be proud of all those years. As I looked into the mirror during standing bow pose, counting my sixty seconds, I suddenly saw someone else in my eyes. I didn’t quite recognize the person until camel. After coming out of camel (a pose where great emotions “are squeezed out of you” – I actually have a friend who cries after this pose and not from pain) I sank to the towel saying in my head, “My dad! My dad!”. As I lay in savasana, it dawned on me that it was my dad who gave me the feeling of accomplishment, taught me the joy of learning new things, and provided me with many experiences in which I felt proud, and always told me how well I was doing, during those years.
You see, I spent my grade school and middle school years outside of school hours, home, in rural America. We only had one car and dad took it to work so my mom couldn’t taxi me to activities or to friends houses. During this time it was my dad who seriously enriched my life. My dad loved to spend his free time outside of work trying and learning new things. And the best part was, he always included my brother and me in his latest endeavors and we always had our own “kid sized” equipment to use. We did: golf, photography (we had our own darkroom in the basement), go cart racing – with a real car and track in our backyard, remote car racing (I had a gorgeous turquoise corvette), bowling, archery (we had our own target range in our backyard), pellet guns, snowmobile riding (we had our own, with complete outfits), fishing, boating, and the list goes on. Through my determination and my dad’s patient teaching and confidence in me, I became quite skilled at each one. Now, thinking back, I really think I got my gift of teaching from my dad. I think he missed his calling. He would’ve been an excellent teacher. It was not school that wrote the course for my future on the tablet of my life, it was my dad.
Even at my retirement dinner, my dad insisted on going up to the podium to sing his praise for me. I honestly think if it were not for my dad’s interest and involvement in the important years of my childhood, I would’ve never had the confidence to try out for that cheeleading squad, setting the tone for the rest of my days, right up to the present.
I am deeply grateful that my dad got to see me design my career, raise my family, and see me retire, because, in effect, I am a piece of his legacy, as are all the children whose lives I have touched in my teaching career. Wow. I am totally amazed to realize how much my dad was responsible for the person I am today.
My Dad. My hero. Thanks, dad, for filling the void.
And so, as another day goes by, I encourage you to explore the voids in your life, and….I have written.
For fun – a throwback photo from 2010:
Me N’ My Dad:
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