Ah..the things of my life…money, writing, new business, health, relationships,..all the things that keep life interesting. There will always be issues in these things that need to be dealt with on a daily basis. I spent a lifetime trying to “put all of these to bed” so I could finally relax and be happy. It is now, in this season of my life, I’m realizing it is these things that make me happy. It’s the changes and issues with these things that move my life forward. Each day brings a little anxiety in having to tend to each one. A little anxiety is not a bad thing. It creates the spice of life. It causes me to move, to do something – even if only that something is to pray and then surrender it.
Hindsight has taught me that big problems come when one of these “things” balloons itself out so big that it overshadows the others. Suddenly anxiety morphs into depression and a terrible fight is on. Health starts becoming a factor. Productiveness ceases. A time like this becomes a season all it’s own. A season where huge changes are going to take place. A season where who we are is going to be broken down and completely rearranged into who we are going to be in the next season of our life. Gradually the balloon begins to deflate. The thing that was looming out of control recedes and takes its rightful place and size in line with the other things. Once again life is manageable, and the new season begins.
I look in the mirror and meet the new, improved me. How much wiser I am. How much stronger I am. How much closer to my Higher Power I am. I couldn’t see where all this was heading when one of those things was ballooned out so big, that I thought it was suffocating me. Now that the “things” are all back to their normal size and niggle for attention each day, I can see the new season dawning. I can feel the changed person I have become.
Real change, the kind that takes place in your spirit, not just your mind, is like navigating the ocean in a kayak – no land in sight. Fear and anxiety cause you to spend hours paddling furiously. Then the paddle slips out of your hands and you watch it float farther and farther away from the kayak. Now what? All you can do is sit with your hands folded and look up. That’s when the true change in your very core begins to take place. Everyday you spend with hands folded, looking up in true surrender, trusting someone higher and bigger than yourself – that is when the big balloon begins to deflate a bit each day.
And so, as another day goes by, it is the “things” in my life and their constant movement that I embrace, and…I have written.
Photo:
Taken on my last “artist date” in Falmouth
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